Y’all know I love a good laugh. It’s one of my favourite things about life and it never lets me down. So when I’m involved in something I find KNEE-SLAPPINGLY HILARIOUS, I always assume anyone who knows me would join me in the slap.
Picture it: last Thursday, just before lunch; a fine man walks into my office. I met him a year ago and we took a photo together. Though I didn’t know him at the time, it was a fabulous pic. Listen, I may be lonely, slightly grumpy 24/7 and sexually-frustrated but what I’m NOT, is an idiot. Those arms of his were gonna be around me if I had to sedate him myself!
Obviously, I had my mind set on getting another great photo of “us” to add to my collection of one. A friend & co-worker took the picture (and I only realized how many he took after they were gone). MY. OH. MIGGITY-MY! I loved all of them! I dropped the images into every photo editing app located on my phone to make them perfectly dreamy for me to look at in my darkest hours. Now here is where hilarity was supposed to ensue…
After work, I headed to my volunteer placement. On my travels, I spliced two of the photos together (see below), added “SAVE THE DATE” right at the top and sent it to a really close friend. There’s no actual date indicated on the image so I assumed (maybe I AM an idiot, jury’s still out) she would know this was a super-cute and funny-as-all-heck thing I was letting her in on.
She did not. She did not find the humour at all. She didn’t find the humour so much that I had missed calls, voicemails, WhatsApp messages waiting for me by the time I finished volunteering. I opened the WhatsApp messages first to see an all-caps “CALL ME!!!!!!!” I checked my voicemail; a very frantic friend pleaded with me to answer my phone and return her call immediately. You can see where I’m going with this.
The grin on my face vanished when I realized she thought I was serious. Not having any battery power, I couldn’t reach out to her until I was home where I finally filled her in on the big ‘joke’ that seemingly went awry. She was devastated. When I was left with my own thoughts it dawned on me how much my friends, who’ve seen me at my highest highs/lowest lows relationship-wise, want me to find a real love. I looked at the photo again and we genuinely look like an honest-to-goodness happy couple. This man who I’ve known for approx. one hour, collectively, got my dimple to show. My dimple is quite elusive, it doesn’t just pop up all willy-nilly. He got this dark-skinned lady to blush. He made a chick glow.
Men, understand what you’re capable of. My reaction came from a stranger all because he made an effort to be part of my happy moment. Do you understand the SUPREME POWER we could exchange if you weren’t just attacking me for my bod from the moment we spoke??!!?!!? Think of the possibilities – we’d rule the world.
In conclusion, it’s confirmed that my wonderful friends will, apparently, be more ecstatic for my coupledom than I’ll ever be. That’s a strangely weird and great feeling. Also, I still really, REALLY like man-arms around me; I’d forgotten what it felt like. I didn’t think I had a heart still beating inside of me, so…………………progress.