Might As Well Face It, You’re Allergic To Plans

Please press play:

I just have one question, which will subsequently be followed by several more, but WHY can’t y’all make a plan? I mean, seriously why is this a thing that can’t happen.

I am 33 years old and I don’t know if I’m going on a date tomorrow morning. I legitimately don’t know. Am I simple? Is my soft spot finally hard? Am I wired differently?

Here’s the text conversation (don’t even get me started on that, because I absolutely fear speaking on the phone until it comes to men. I want to hear your voice. I want you to call me so I can hear your excitement at the thought of spending time with me. YAS!):

SUNDAY

Me: Hi! Are you free anytime soon?

Him: Hi! Hmm what did you have in mind?

Me: Haha! Whatever you want. When I asked you about the movie before, I thought you’d send a date you were free. But you didn’t. So that’s why I’m being proactive. I would like to see your face again if you’d like to see mine. And if not, then I absolutely understand and won’t bug you again.

MONDAY

*He sends a photo of what he’s doing, we small talk about a dresser I’ve been trying to build for weeks. Concludes with me sending him a photo of the finished dresser*

TUESDAY

Him: Are you free in the daytime Friday? I could hang out then if you have time. Dresser looks fantastic! 

Me: I have Friday off but I’m seeing a movie with a friend in the afternoon.

Him: I’m talking morning anyhow 

Me: Alright, that works for me. I have to be at the theatre for 12:30 so the morning is fine.

Him: We could do brunch or spend no cash and just hang out someplace warmish…like a junk shop

Me: I like either/both ideas. Maybe junk shop then something warm to eat and drink after?

THURSDAY

Me: Tomorrow: 9AM too early? Which junk shop will be privileged enough to receive our attention?

Him: There are a few together on Kingston Rd. East of the bottom of Warden. Might be a good bet.

Me: Sounds good.

And to qualify, my “sounds good.” I thought he would continue the conversation with actual details. I honestly did.

First of all, kudos to me because I’m cute as f*ck when I text. A man should be so lucky. I have personality, I have a little sass…I’m perfect.  Back to the question of the hour: Do I or do I not have a date? I mean, is it at 9AM? Do I just go to the intersection of Kingston Rd. & Warden Ave. tomorrow morning? Is there a name to the shop we’re going; maybe just for a more specific meeting place? Are these things I should spell out? I mean, I asked if 9AM was too early, was that too complicated? Should I have said:

“What address should I meet you at at 9AM? If not at 9AM, what time works for you? And please, don’t forget to send me the address of where you would like to meet….at the time that works best for you. Also, specify the exact time. Again…whatever works for you tomorrow morning but with focused detail on the time and the address, OR NAME…name works too, of the place at this intersection since you mentioned there are a few, I just want to clarify the one we’ll start with, if any….” I MEAN, DA FUQ??!?!?!?  Whaa? Guh? LsafdjeOVU%$R(*U43jk&^*#!?!??

GIF - beyonce-confused

The moral of this story is, I think singles today are allergic to making plans. There’s something about setting a date or scheduling when to meet that is too close to commitment. In this bleak time of hook-up culture, I’m just unimpressed. What’s old becomes new again, right? I would welcome the resurgence of some old-fashioned courting in society. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’ll sleep in tomorrow. Because I don’t know if I have a date.

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